day 5 of becoming dragon

It is the morning of day 5. I’m glad I’ve gotten this far, 5 seems like a good number of days, a friend said its almost a week, the way we think of a week as monday to friday.

Day 4 was ao amazing. I can only hope for more days like yesterday. I have a constrant stream of visitors in rl and sl which is great.

Yesterday Cauleen and Ricardo visited, which was very nice. I showed Cauleen around SL, we hung out for a while in the space park, with me floating in space and her controlling the stereo projection’s character. Ricardo said he feels that all the technical difficulties are a strong part of the project, it’s a complicated process becoming dragon.

In the evening I tried to be on the panel at the rubber rose, but their audio setup was really bad, just a macbook with the impossible builtin mic next to the speakers, so we started an hour late. I only got to make a few comments, and when we finally got it working, I said a few sentences and then my wireless mic battery died, so we ended it there. Still, it was nice to hear the parts of the panel I could hear, about being trans and struggling to be visible, or strugling to explain yourself to people, and feeling like people think that a trans person is all of who you are, even when there’s so much more to a person. There was a lot of discussion of being trans in relationships and the difficult dynamics of seeming straight, being misperceived, or of dealing with your partner transitioning. This was all in the context of a photo exhibit at the Rubber Rose gallery with nudes of trans people, as well as some discussion of this project.

Interesting dynamics continue to emerge, like the feeling of having all of this life support apparatus, all of these applications and computers and cables enabling my living, and dealing with their failures and keeping going. This morning the head tracking and the motion capture are both working, which is great, and I hope they keep working for the performance at 5.

At night were some of the most profound moments I’ve had here yet. I talked for a while to a furry little fox with a wrist computer, who told me that she lives in the south in the US and that she doesn’t have access to hormones or know any other trans people in real life. She says that second life and on the internet are the only places she can talk to other trans people.

Later at night, some people from the Space Studies Institute came by and gave me some amazing objects. First we rode some rockets, which they gave me a copy of. Then they gave me a 3d model of all the stars local to earth at a distance of 10 parsecs or less, which you can pull out of your pocket, unfold and fly around in.

One of them had a avatar of a little girl. I asked her later, while we were walking through the chakryn forest, if she is really a little girl. She told me no, she’s an adult woman, but that people treat her better in SL as a child, that she likes that people take her less seriously with this avatar. She told me that she has another avatar that looks just like her real self, and sometimes she interacts with the same people with different avatars, and people treat her much better as a little girl. It struck me as one of the most profound moments of avatar exploration that I had heard of yet. After that she invited me to go talk to ALICE the AI in a city that looks much like blade runner, and we went there, but then it was time for me to sleep. She said that she thought I was staying up the whole 365 hours! I told her no. Though she was still very excited when I showed her a sign that said “hi name” with her name over the video stream. This morning I went back and talked to ALICE, but she’s not a very good conversationalist.


1 Response to “day 5 of becoming dragon”

  1. 1 j
    December 6, 2008 at 12:40 am

    ❤ yeah day 5! i know you have so much support from everyone. all your friends and lover.
    let me know if there’s anything you need none the less. i have sat through tuesday off and can drive around or just hang out.

    love you!

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